Reflecting on our first two weeks in Lusaka -AP

Hello from Lusaka! My first two weeks here have been nothing short of amazing- from bonding with my host family, cooking nshima, and attending a wedding- I’ve met so many wonderful people while learning about Zambian culture. These two weeks have also been very introspective for me as I attempt to practice cultural relativism and analyze my own values, beliefs, and culture.

One of the most meaningful experiences of these past two weeks was an event with my host mom, Odess, this past Saturday. Odess took us to an event that is a precursor to another event we will attend in July called a Matebeto, at which a wife celebrates her husband. The event we attended was similar to an etiquette lesson. Women come and teach one other about how to be a good wife and a woman’s general role as a cook, cleaner, and doting mother. The event began with singing and dancing to traditional tribal music. It was a pleasure to hear the women’s beautiful voices echo throughout the room- it created an infectious energy and community feeling.

After the preliminary dancing ended, the second part of the ceremony began. One-by-one, women wrapped the traditional chitenge cloth around their wastes and began to dance individually in the center of the room. Each woman’s dance was unique to them and was representative of how they please their husbands. I was in awe of the sheer confidence of these women to dance on their own, in front of approximately 50 people. It was beautiful to see how comfortable the women were in their own skin, and it made me reflect upon the all too common body image struggles that many women experience in the United States. If American women were to hold similar events in which we celebrated the things that make us unique, I wonder if we could rid ourselves of confidence issues.

The second round of dances ended and the lead etiquette teacher began to lecture on the traditional roles of women. She told us that "the Bible tells us women to submit ourselves to men". As a progressive woman, it was difficult to listen to the patriarchal undertones in her lecture. I had learned about the traditional roles of women in my past studies but it was an entirely new and jarring experience to hear it first-hand. My instant reaction was sorrow for these women who are confined to their household roles, often unable to obtain higher education and a career on their own. But my perspective began to change as I realized that the women were fighting back against this. One woman posed a question to the teacher, asking, “How am I supposed to find my own happiness if my sole job to make my husband happy?” And later, after the ceremony, I spoke with another woman who said she did not believe in all of the lessons the teacher had taught. Odess echoed the same sentiments, telling me sarcastically, “Men are seen as superior in this country, but I don’t really understand why.” It was inspiring to see women fight back against their classification as inferior in comparison to men.

I continue to be amazed by the solidarity and strength of the Zambian people. The collectivist culture creates a wonderfully tight-knit community atmosphere where people refer to one another as brother and sister, even if they have never met. My experiences here help me to see the value in compassion- a simple smile or greeting can make a person feel so welcomed in a place that is entirely new.